Metal To The Grave

Metalhead- An avid fan of the Heavy Metal genre

I remember when I became a metalhead. Age 12, sitting at the computer at my grandmother's house listening to Metallica and Megadeth, but also, listening to the emo music of times. Yes, I was an odditty and I still am one. By the time I was almost 14, I pretty much got sick of emo and was wildly into Classic Rock, Underground Hip-Hop and, you guessed it, Metal. As of this sentence, I'm listening to Blood Insanity by Hellhammer on Pandora. I started my metyal journey with Metallica, Black sabbath, judas Priest, Iron Maiden, and Led Zeppelin. I've grown to love and like countless bands including Motorhead, Celtic Frost, SLAYER, Venom, Death, High On Fire, Dethklok, Possessed, and many others. I've heard many genres from Thrash and Death Metal to Metalcore and Nu-Metal. I almost always wear white sneakers, as a thrasher should, I want a new, more flexible metal jacket for almost daily wear, and I plan on buying a few denim vests and an excess of band and leather patches. In fact, the whole reason why I even wanted to pick up a guitar was because of Jimmy Page, Jimi Hendrix, many american blues artists, and Edward Van Halen.

Back to the point at hand. I want to defend my standings as a metalhead and metal in general. Many people see metal as the cause of many problems, including murder, assault, and suicide. To many, SLAYER is nothing but a group of nazi satanists who incourage murder and death. To many, a mosh pit is similar to a mini-gladiator stadium, violent and destructive. To many, metalheads are absolute morons. Funny thing is, these people don't listen to metal, have never given it a chance a day in their lives. The pit can be brutal, I can see why people would have such an opinion about SLAYER at first glance, and the many subject matters in metal do revolve around death. However, any metalhead can tell you that such extreme subjects and lyrics were, at one point, a selling device. Obviously, to keep metal fresh, you would up the ante through either sheer volume, insane lyrics, excessive exercises in speed and brutality, and making the overall product heavier than a fleet of tanks. And yes, there ae many unitelligent metalheads, just as there are many unintelligent political figures, but who more of a moron, the joker or the person who assumes that the joker is nothing but a fool without ever having a full conversation with him? I don't expect everyone to understand why a metalhead would headbang until they caught whiplash, I don't expect everyone to get why many bands rely on the subjects or war, death, sex, drugs, and Satan, and I don't expect everyone to understand why a person would idolize Motley Crue over Michael Jordan, or why a kid would look up to Lemmy Kilmeister instead of Bono. And you know what, its almost better that you don't get it, because metal's not for everyone. Its not for the frail grandmothers, the preppy school kids, the mainstream music enthusiasts, hell, sometimes metal can even be a little much for even the biggest of fans. Metal is not a fad, metal is not a passing scene, metal is a lifestyle. You can join the ranks or you can fuck off, either way, we'll live to thrash another day.

Look to Heavy Metal Music for further reading

Dethalbum II- Dethklok

Happy 2010 readers, try to keep your new year's resolutions, no matter how dumb or shallow they seem. Now to business, since I have no other ideas I figured that I do a few album reviews, this being the first of them. Now for those of you who aren't familiar with Dethklok, I will give you both the virtual and real-life lineup

Virtual:
Nathan Explosion- Vocals
Skwisgaar Skwigelf- Lead Guitars
Toki Wartooth- Rhythm Guitars
William Murderface- Bass Guitar
Pickles The Drummer- Drums, Percussion, and Backing Vocals

Real lineup:
Brendan Small- Guitar/Vocals
Gene Hoglan a.k.a. The Atomic Clock- Insane Percussion/Drums
Mike Keneally- Guitar/ Backing Vocals
Bryan Beller- Bass/Backing Vocals

This album is possible the greatest thing I've purchased, tying with my guitar and pizza. The riffs are tight and brutal, the drums are worthy of war and Brendan Small's vocals are sick beyond belief if you're a fan of the growl-type vocal. The album starts off with "Bloodlines", a song about being the descendent of a murderous tribe, complete with tribal drums and a a melodic riff. The album then switches gears to "The Gears" (if you hated that pun, you are not alone). If you're a drummer looking for an example of the proper way to utilize blast beats, this is the track for you. "Black Fire Upon Us" is an epic masterpiece and "Symmetry"'s palm-muted riff is something for the days of Viking mythology, even though the song is about being envious and vain about looks. Yes, Dethklok made being self-conscious metal. And in a tribute to Metallica's "Unforgiven" trilogy of songs, Dethklok created "Murmaider", and since this is Dethalbum II, Dethklok brings you "Murmaider II: The Water God", the second of the "Murmaider" trilogy. If you are a metalhead, buy this album. If you're interested in learning about Dethklok or one of the finest lessons in brutallity, ask to borrow it from me, just promise to blast it.

~Bears With Guns~

The Vermin That Occupy The Hood And Its Outlying Territories.

"Everything that white people don't like about black people, black people don't REALLY like black people."- Chris Rock

If you couldn't tell by the title, this blog is about hoodrats.

If you ask me, I think hoodrats (or hoodrodents if you've somehow come up with classifications) should be locked in cages and used for the testing of products instead of animals. It would get rid of a vast amount of ghetto ass people and it would give P.E.T.A. one less thing to bitch about, vegan cunts. One thing that has probably become apparent to you is that I, like many people who have dignity, hate hoodrats. I hate people who contain vast amounts of unnecessary ignorance in general, but i think its something about hoodrats that make me wanna hurt things.

Now if you refer to the quote at the top, you may think this blog is just about black people. It's not. Hoodrats come in many different colours, they just get referred to different, thanks to the American viewpoints on race. To sound slightly hypocritical, lets just say that most hoodrats are black, just so the sake of argument.

Now there are many things that are qualities of a hoodrat and many of us are guilty of them. I've narrowed them down to a few things:

1. Being unnecessarily loud... At almost all times- There is no reason to not have volume control after you've left the 4th grade, control yourself, damnnit.
2. Being a bitch/prick for no reason- I can understand if you're in a bad mood or you're being an asshole to be funny or to someone you don't like, but if you say something mean to someone who asks a question and they don't bother you, you're a dick.
3. Getting a group of people to back you in a fight that you started- If you're not man or woman enough to handle a conflict on your own, then shut ya goddamn mouth.
4. Denying what you are as a hoodrodent- Hoodrodents are hoodrodents. As much as it may suck to be known as one, you're a hoodrodent. Accept it and move on.
5. You say something is white just because it isn't considered the typical for black people- Self-explanatory
6. Thinking that you're the greatest thing alive- You're not perfect, you're more of a waste of splodge if anything. No, wait, that's it exactly.
7. You jerk (The dance, not the hand workout)- Even if you're one of my friends, the punishment should be death... or at least being beaten with a small, Mexican child.
8. Your pants wouldn't fit if 3 people wore them with you- This is ridiculous. Get pants that fit. Get a damn belt. Use the damn belt. If people can see your boxers and you weren't pants, you need a kick in the crotch... And the chest... And the face... Then once more in the crotch.
9. You do anything with big boobs or a fat ass- This is how we get ugly/retarded children
10. You're a moron for no reason- Ignorance is only bliss when that ignorance preserves your innocence. Other than that, you're fucking stupid.
11. You're ugly and you act like you're cute just because you give free head in the school bathroom- You're ugly. You're a hoe. You're a ugly hoe. The End.
12. You talk shit about people you don't know- I'm pretty sure the person you're jealous of has much more of a life than to be bothered with a peon such as yourself.
13. Big Earrings- Have earrings the size of donuts is just too much. Stop before they fall out due to gravity and in some form of self-protest.
14. Fluorescent weave- If your weave is at least 5 shades brighter than necessary, burn it. Just pull it out and burn it.

And that's all it takes to be a hoodrat, something only apply to certain genders, probably more I could add but the point has been made. One more thing, if you think this is about you, it probably is, its probably not. Argue if you must.

~Bears With Guns~

Youtube, Youtube, Youtube

Ah, Youtube, possibly the greatest website to ever be given a domain name. You have given billions of people the opportunity to watch live performances from their favourite artists' heydays, discover new bands, or just to watch fat people fall on their asses. Youtube also gives people the ability to spout off at the mouth and say heinous shit that they either don't have the balls to say in real life or that they say to just see how many random people they can piss off. I've also noticed that many rock fans on Youtube believe that music died in the 90s or that hip-hop is killing music. Now is it just me or does it seem impossible for more than 5% of the Youtube community to accept new genres for what they are or to even give another genre a chance since its actually quite possible for someone to like a type of music other than Satanic Speed Death Black Thrash Arena Metal.

~Bears With Guns~

My mind has been wiped

I had an idea for a blog yesterday, and I was gonna write it, but I  didn't have the time. Now that I have time, I can't remember. Its a very odd thing and I'm coming to two conclusions. 1). I'm possibly the youngest Alzheimer's patient, or 2). The weekend has taken its effect. I hope its number 2.

~Bears With Guns~

The age of the facebook status lyricist & philosopher

I hate to sound rude (wait, no I dont), but there's become any increasingly annoying trend when it comes to status messages on facebook. Now many people use the status to describe what they're doing at that exact moment (some more than others, much to the world's annoyance) and some use it to ask things of their friends, whether it be homeworks, opinions, etc. But now it seems like facebook has become the place for people to supposedly tell the truth or to either share some overly-quoted line or a half-ass bar  they just came up with. Sometimes the lines are hot if its not something I've had piledriven into my skull constantly or if its original and not about how "nasty" they're rhymes are. Sometimes the "moments of enlightenment" are great things to share with other people, unless of course its just a person trying to act wise when they're probably your run of the mill hoodrat/snob/jock/bitch/general asshole. I might sound a little harsh, but until people stop trying to become online scholars, I'm not gonna stop airing out my crazy, usually unreasonable opinions (I can taste the irony generating off of my computer screen).

~Bears with guns~

Its always awkward the 1st time

Posting my first blog on Blogspot bright and early, and by early I mean 5:36 pm. Since its the 1st time, I will tell you about myself. I am Myles a.k.a. Mr Belvedere (its somewhat of an inside joke). I was born in the U.K., but I've lived in Boston most of my life. My hobbies are music, movi- Wait, I suddenly realized that nobody gives a shit. Here's to happy blogging?

~Bears With Guns~